The Secret Country of Yourself by Jenya T. Beachy

Author:Jenya T. Beachy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: health;wellness;self-help;self help;healing;personal healing;inner world;empowerment;inspiration;jenna beachy;jenya beachy;jenya beach;jenya t. beach
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD.
Published: 2017-10-23T16:07:31+00:00

Do try to make a commitment to visit the Shadow House regularly, perhaps at the dark of the moon. This will be an ongoing practice, as new shadows are constantly being generated. Go to your calendar now and fill in a date for yourself. Then treat the time as sacred. And always remember to begin and end in your Sanctuary and treat yourself kindly when you are in the thick of it. Remember to not only face toward the shadows but also turn toward the light and bask in its illumination.

Now, let’s talk some more about compassion.

Courage inspires and is inspired by compassion. Compassion is a deep understanding of another’s (or another part of our own) pain, accompanied by the desire to end the suffering. It takes courage to be truly compassionate, because we are open and vulnerable. This can be expressed in many ways.

Compassion is the outstretched hand offering money, clothing, or food. It’s the listening ear and sympathetic hug. It’s the heartfelt prayer that someone be healed.

Also, it’s the aggressive encouragement to “get your butt back on the horse!” or “quit whining about your troubles!” True compassion may look like a charitable donation, or a “there, there, dear,” but it doesn’t always appear kind. Sometimes it looks like not being of immediate service; it looks like holding someone accountable, even letting them fail. Ending suffering is not the same as coddling weakness.

Ending suffering in the long term means that people should be at the center of their own problem-solving, and for you to help effectively, you have to trust that those in the center are strong enough to handle their part of the bargain. You have to trust that they can hold their own.

In the shared reality, this looks like believing that when your partner says they are happy to do the dishes, they really are, rather than second-guessing them. It looks like allowing your boss to ask for what they need, rather than running yourself ragged trying to do everything they might want. It looks like letting your children risk failing the test that they chose not to study for.

On the other hand, compassion is kind and intensely giving and forgiving. It requires that you care for those who truly cannot do something for themselves, delivering lunches to shut-ins or donating to relief efforts. It means knocking on the door when you hear your neighbors fighting rather than automatically calling the police. You can see how courage and compassion are related in these instances.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. There are pitfalls on either side of the path. You may find yourself in selfishness that looks like helping, or practicing tough love that isn’t loving at all. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche calls this “idiot compassion,” and it often shows up as an emotional overreaction to others’ suffering, drawing attention to yourself rather than those in harm’s way. Or it may mean the sort of giving that comes from an inability to say no. When you hear

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